In game design a game’s core mechanic is the one thing the player does in a game. For example, in Super Mario Bros. the core mechanic is jumping, that’s all the player does. For a non-directive coach, the core mechanic is asking questions.
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Inviting the coachee to think about and describe in detail their feelings or situations provides them with an opportunity to use the coach as a sounding board for feedback. Examples of open-ended questions are:
These types of questions do not invite reflection or curiosity. An example of a closed-ended question is: Are you feeling good today? This question evokes a yes or no response. It does not invite the coachee to explain or describe how they are feeling and what they are thinking in any length of detail. Examples of closed-ended questions include:
This question invites the coachee to describe specifics about what is going on for them today. This type of question can lead to the coach learning about a multitude of things that are impacting the coachee. Moreover, it helps to get the conversation started so the coach can support the coachee in narrowing down a topic or goal for the coaching session.
A good replacement for why questions are what questions. Often, why questions can invite judgment from the coach and can place the coachee on the defensive. What questions remove the judgmental aspect of asking the question and invite the coachee to assess their behavior along a timeline as opposed to stating why something was or was not done. Also, by using why it forces the coachee to think about the situation in a way that is not conducive to learning. Why questions are better replaced with what or how is it questions.
Replace WHY with a WHAT or HOW IS IT question and see how the new question might change the response you receive: